I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have fence marks all over my body
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
