I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
