I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
