Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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