and you said cock pushups were impossible
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
