I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
