Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
