Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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