this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
