your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
