Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
