Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
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