So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
