This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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