are you still at the devil's house?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
