we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
