at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
