I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
