Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
