Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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