Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
