I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
