Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
