no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
