we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
