I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you inspire me to be a worse person
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
