im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you never un-have a 4some
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
