Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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