My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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