Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
