what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
