don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
