My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
