I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Green mimosas i think yes
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
