i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
