don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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