I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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