you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
