adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
