Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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