Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
