I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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