I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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