I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
