her vagine was all disorganized.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
