I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
