You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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