he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
