i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
