So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
nut hugger
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
