farters have to be the big spoon...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
