im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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