well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
