gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
