I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
