I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
