3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
